Post

5 years running the Men’s Group Singapore!

Some numbers to appetise with:
- 5 years running on a weekly basis, in-person and online since the c@vid, with breaks during the holiday times
- more than 200 men’s group free sessions for any man
- 521 members
- 4 workshops

What is a men’s group?
It is a safe harbour for men to share their successes and struggles, to be authentic and connect on a deeper level, to receive feedback, support and challenges, and to learn with and from other men.
Most members have yet to join a session. Some men have been joining only one session, while others are more regular.
Most men join a group when facing struggles in their life, whether in their dating and intimate relationships, in their professional life, or their personal inner-world experiences such as a sense of depression, anxiety or loneliness. And some join with a growth-oriented mindset from the beginning understanding the potential power of a band of trusted men.
On a side note, I am delighted to see that the average age of men participating is around the early thirties (31-33), which means that young men of 24-25 years old are joining the sessions.
The sooner, the better!
To me, a men’s group is a blessing not only for men but for women, relationships and the world. 
A space to learn from other men and practice. 
A space to practice speaking the unspoken, the repressed, the scary thoughts and feelings. 
A space to leave with inspiration and insights.
A space to retreat. Sometimes to surrender, and other times to be challenged.

Most men, including myself, were never taught how to connect to themselves and their inner world. 
There is no point asking men to be authentic and vulnerable when they don’t know what is happening within themselves.
Which is a must before being able to even think about sharing. When you ask a man how and what he feels, you will likely get a joke (to avoid the question) or an “I am good”. And if you dig deeper, they most likely answer with a “nothing particular” or an “I don’t know”. 
Anger, frustration and numbness are the most shared feelings by untrained men. Nothing wrong with that, we all start from different points with different energetic structures and social backgrounds. Still, we all move forward with the same desire to be a better man, a better human being whose journey begins with access to the full range of our human emotions. We can only be joyful to the extent of experiencing grief.

That’s why a men’s group, among other things, is a safe place to practice and train ourselves to access and share our inner world step by step.
If you ask me, every man not enlightened yet should be in a men’s group with trusted brothers who are not wanting anything from him but his success and happiness.